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Submitted on
February 18
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The child let go the balloon.
The balloon, sadly, is a metaphor.
And that metaphor is her life.
Her life, like a balloon, popped.
From a gunshot - from a blunderbuss.
The man on the blunderbuss wept.
He knew he popped the balloon.
The bright balloon obscured his vision.
His vision on a woman lonely.
His bullet was love and tenderness.
But bullets missed become simply bullets.
And bullets through balloons - is death.
A twist on the impulse six-word novel, using twelve lines of six, each with its own narrative, under one overarching... Well, arc. It'll improve. 

Also: I know blunderbusses don't fire bullets. 
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:iconmune-san:
Mune-san Feb 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
clever idea and you did a wonderful job with it. fantastic!
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
I loved it.
Though personally I'd change the last line to "And bullets through balloons -- is death."
It leaves a stronger emphasis on the end of the balloon.
 
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:iconpaperback-astronaut:
I see! Well, I'll get on it. 

.a
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
Why don't you give some of my works a read/comment/critique, it'd be much appreciated.

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